In our society we have raised the value of delaying gratification – I dare to say that this is the most naïve and damn straight stupid things you can ever do.
I would like to share some of my personal background to illustrate why I feel this way. I grew up in a traditional family that set a clear distinction between work time and enjoyment time. Both my parents worked long shifts and had little time in the everyday life. This was compensated for with long and lovely family dinners every weekend where we had all homemade meals, with candle lights and my father awarded himself with a nice glass of wine and perhaps a little cognac. I obviously got my candy and permission to watch my favorite TV show along with my family. This was about the only break we had all week. Every once in a while we went on holiday in our boat. I remember; every time it was the most stressful time in our lives the moment before we got settled. It was all in a rush and everything was stressful, all for the purpose of us relaxing later. Same thing at Christmas; the weeks, days and minutes before Christmas dinner used to be more and more intense. Everyone was running around and stressing so that we could relax later.
To a very large degree I adapted the mindset of delaying gratification. For instance, sexually, I never had a challenge with premature ejaculation. I used to practice building up allot of tension before releasing it to a relatively strong orgasm. (Yeah relatively to my past obviously, being multiorgasmic today) The only problem was I didn`t really enjoy sex in itself as much as I should.
It`s the nature of the masculine, we love the process of building up tension so that we can enjoy the release. This is why we enjoy soccer and similar sports so much, the buildup of tension, and the ecstatic release when we finally score. It’s the most masculine and free moment a man experiences.
I realize tough that this wonderful feeling is not due to the enjoyment of the situation itself, its due to the fact that it’s the only moments where we actually relax and allow ourselves to enjoy the moment.
So these moments we love so much actually robs us for the other 99 percent of enjoyment time. Instead of building up tension to enjoy the release we should instead live our lives free from tension. We shouldn’t have to justify why we feel good, because we worked hard all month or scored a goal, we should just be, be in the moment. This is where we are united with our higher self and this is where we are able to look above the rat race and really grow.
We live our life constantly waiting for the big price, working to deserve it. We stress and build tension so that we can relax and enjoy ourselves later. We work hard in a job we dislike so that one day we will have enough money to relax, or retire, or switch jobs. This day never comes. And even if it does its never as good as we expected and it last a lot shorter.
It`s like living in celibate to increase our sexuality – highly ironic
The other extreme is to live in excess. To live with a screaming addiction, constantly craving for some exterior pleasure to fill a whole – this is even worst.
Instead of living in celibate, or living in excess, we should unify the two and spiritually surrender to enjoyment and fulfillment – to become lovers, lovers of the world, lovers of women, lovers of our work and our friends.
There are three ways to utilize a box of chocolate, one is to ravage the whole thing immediately, another is waiting until its dried out then either through it away our ravage it all then – the third way is to take one piece, smell it, lick it and allow it to melt on our tong so that the entire taste sensation explodes in our body and lasts for minutes at the time.
We seem to believe that the way to a pleasurable life is to fill it up with things that give us pleasure. This is not true: the trick is rather – to squeeze out as much pleasure there is from what we have.
Then first you will realize that we live in abundance of pleasure. That one chocolate piece will give you so much pleasure that you don’t need any more
A very wise man once responded to my desire to be rich with the following: “Why do you want to be rich, you can`t even handle being poor!”
It seems that as human we are afraid of pleasure. We feel like we don’t deserve it, so we have to do something before we can enjoy something. And when we do, it has to last for as short of a time as possible. We can have an orgasm every once in a while but it can tops last for five to ten seconds. We have programmed our minds this way. But the reality is that an orgasm, as well as enjoyment – is not a reaction, it’s a state which can last as long as we want it to.
So instead of making it the exception I opine we make this the norm, to live in enjoyment. Every time we break out of this state, we should simply pause, relax and dive into enjoyment.
As you learn to love what you have to the fullest, and penetrate all pleasure with love, the world will begin to respond to you. Then first you realize you don’t need it – your mind is not filled with happy things, but rather it is drained from everything that isn’t. You are left with simplicity and the pure human nature – happiness
I would love your feedback
Joakim Lea
I thought I’d spend the occasion to share some thoughts about authentic communication.
Your authentic presence and communication is the greatest gift you can give to the world – we should therefore treat it that way, not wasting it on meaningless blabber.
Each day the average person expresses several thousand words, unfortunately most of these words are informational, soul less and empty words. Instead of using our language to express ourselves authentically and to connect with each other, we use it as away to fill in the awkward silences.
This is not limited to our language but our entire way of communicating, our entire presence. We tend to talk to each other as if we are not really there, just as a way of proper behavior and being polite. We think that because we are in the same room together we have to talk, but we don’t. In fact I am annoyed, lightly offended if someone speak to me without giving me their full presence, or making sure they have mine first.
Rather, instead of being polite and conversing just because we have to, we should open ourselves completely to the person which we want to converse with. Give him or her, our full attention and really make sure we connect.
If you are really, deeply curious about what Mary does for a living, then you should ask her about exactly that. You should look her in the eyes and say: “Mary, there is something I am very curious about you, what is it exactly that you do for a living?”
Give the person the gift of your full attention and mindful curiosity- instead of taking his or her valuable attention without having any agenda except social conditioning.
I am perfectly comfortable sitting next to a person I just met without uttering a word, but I am also comfortable asking directly about this person’s sex life, if I am truly curious about that.
Conversing with someone should be a way of connecting, not a way of acting properly. When you meet someone, stop asking questions that sound cool or give you the answer you are hoping for. Stop creating a good looking conversation – instead connect with the person and let the conversation wonder where ever it leads.
We have so many of the “perfect” conversations; the typical “Hi how are you doing today, fine, how are you, what did you do today…” that we forget them. We stop paying attention to the conversation or whoever we talk to. We never connect, we just waste our energy.
The conversations you remember are the once you where fully present, truly curious about the other person and really giving your full attention. All others are just a waste of energy. There should be no goal orientation in a conversation; the interaction should in itself be the experience – a valuable moment shared with another person.
Make time valuable I guess is what I am trying to say – don’t hold back in your conversations, but in the same time don’t talk to someone just because you feel like you have to.
A friend of mine once told me this:
“Stop making people comfortable… Ask what’s needed for you – there is masculinity a strength that comes from that – it’s the greatest gift you can give to the world.” ~ Zan Perrion
Take time each day to become centered is my advice to you – find your core and ask yourself really what’s needed for you. Find your strength, your love and compassion, and then share this gift with the world. Open up your heart and stay present in whatever you do, it’s your gift, never compromise it.
If a friend of mine gives me five minutes of his complete undivided attention, love and compassion – than that is more valuable to me then 5 hours of meaningless blabber. In fact even 5 seconds saying – “Sorry Joakim, I have a lot on my mind right now, can we talk later?” is 100 times better.
I realize I have been incongruent with this message earlier, I’ve written allot of blog post just because I feel like I have to. From now on I will only write if I really have something to share.
I opine you to do the same.
Namaste
Joakim lea
When we are compeeting with someone, who is really defining what is good performance? Is it the winner or is it the looser?
Defining good performance based on someone else robs us for our own potential, someone else becomes the arcitect. Therefore Instead of searcing for what is good, and allow ourselves to be defined by how other people are living their life – we should instead ask ourself:
“What is good enough for me?”
“If we are willing to believe – our best is good enough”
Personally Ive noticed lately how much I have been driven by the expectations of others. If others have high expectations of me I perform better – conversely I see that when people do porely my standard for what is good decreases.
Instead Ive started asking myself the question “is this good enough?” If the answer is no I pick up my pace, if the answer is yes I am saticefyed no matter what the results are.
For example when I am running – trying to beat a record – I ask myself; ” is this good enough, am I really giving it all I have?” If the answer is no, I run faster, if not I am happy regardless of me beating the record or not.
I stop caring whether or not my friend ran faster than me. I am happy, what more is there to it?
When you do what is good enough you discover yourself, you discover your identiy and you defined it based on your values, not others.
Ever since i started this blogg I have been put in a litle box - Joakim is the seducer of women, Joakim Is the lifestyle designer, the adventurer, the crazy guy..
The fact is I do love women – more then anything – but if I interact with a woman it has nothing to do with anyone else – its about me and her, sharing a moment together that will never come back. I am not trying to impress either her or anyone else; I am trying my utmost to stay present, and to share myself with her. If she likes me GREAT, if she does not i am deeply respectful – sad – but never hurt or dissapointed. I did my best, I always do.
If I write a bloggpost i do my best, some days i have better flow others i dont, but i do my best.
Whatever I do thats good enough, might be very good, might be mediocre is great – It is a statement that i am excactly where i need to be.
As a conclusion i would like to remind you that there is no limit for what you can accomplish in life, but there might be a limit for what you can do today – this is what you should aim for. Nothing more and nothing less.
I am going to continue to write a few bloggposts when I have something to share, it might be very often, it might be very rarely. If you enjoy it i am honored, if not i am deeply respectfull.
Feel free to contact me if you want to chat
Peace and Love
Joakim Lea
I had a Skype call with two amazing guys from the Ars Amorata yesterday night. I shared with them some of the stuff I have been experiencing lately.
About a week ago a friend of mine told me about his latest project called the Phobia Cure where he uses NLP to remove phobias and anxiety. He asked me if I wanted to try it and help him improve it. I said sure, let‘s do it with approach anxiety.
We went through the exercises and “god it worked!” beautifully! My approach anxiety was gone completely, and it still is. I wouldn’t say it was a big challenge for me before, I usually went up to the nice women I saw, however now it was completely gone!
The following couple of days I met allot of women, I pretty much approach everyone I saw. However something was missing and I didn’t know what it was.
Usually I get this amazing sensation when talking to women; I get a stream of refreshing energy, like an intoxicating drug almost.
People ask me; “why do you need so many women in your life, why do you talk to every girl you meet?” This is why! It`s not because I necessarily need to have sex with allot of girls or have several relationships going on the same time, and it’s definitely not because of validation. It`s because I love women!
More than anything else! They are my muse, they are what gives me motivation, make me alive! And It`s because I`ve made it my responsibility to make women feel appreciated – unfortunately very few men help me with this (wonderful, enriching!!) obligation.
When I talked to a woman before, I got a tingling sensation in my body; this wonderful nervousness and excitement – Yes I was nervous, yes I was scared, yes I hated it – but I LOVED IT!
Like I have explained before this nervousness is just energy and if you can act despite this nervousness it can easily be transformed into attraction. (e.i. Piercing Attraction)
Now that I had removed this anxiety it appears as if I lost some of the excitement at the same time. I found myself approaching women just saying with a monotone voice: “I thought you looked hot, what’s your name?” I really didn’t care at all what her response was. This could be a good thing if that’s your style, but to me this is not authentic. I am really excited when I meet a new woman usually. But even if it was my style I am not talking about puppy dog energy here, I am talking about the masculine edge of yang energy.
I started to lose my desires and emotions when seeing women, my heart didn’t start to pump as much and I didn’t feel as alive. And, If you can`t feel alive and excited when being with a woman, then what`s the point?
I talked to the guys from Ars Amorata about this, and we came to the question: If we could have a magic bullet to deal with approach anxiety, would we take it?
Of course I called back my friend telling him about this. We talked for a long while and I suddenly realized something:
“Whenever I break out of a comfort zone I immediately build a new one!”
Because of this it is so freaking important to always move forward in life – unless it will be so freaking boring and you will lose the natural energy that is so crucial.
It’s so important never to sit down at a plateau smoking a cigarette, instead embrace the fact that you move forward and use it as momentum for pushing on the edge of the next.
Unless you lose that vital energy that you were pursuing in the first place (that’s what I did)
So what I am coming to hear is I would love to get your help on this.
I am debating with myself whether I should go back and reinstate this anxiety, if I should re-anchor it into giving me other emotions or if I should leave it the way it has become and then move even further out
What would you do?
Please share, i would love it 
Peace and Love
Joakim
Ps: If you are interested in removing your approach anxiety my friend is just in the experimentation phase before the product is launched next week. If you want I can probably help you get one for free, send me an email 
Now this is an exciting module!
This time i have gotten a hold of Mr. Multiorgasmic Man himself Dag Eian, and in this couchtalk we are discussing some very important element when it comes to becoming multiorgasmic man, and understanding sexuality.
You will learn:
Enjoy!
Tragically we ran out of tape just when Dag was about to explain the 5 steps on how to become MultiOrgasmic.
What we decided to do though was to write a cheatsheat explaining the 5 steps in detail. We decided to share it in the newsfeed, so just type in your email below and I can send you the simple steps that we put together 
Peace and Love
Joakim & Dag
May
11
In our society we have raised the value of delaying gratification – I dare to say that this is the most naïve and damn straight stupid things you can ever do. I would like to share some of my personal background to illustrate why I feel this way. I grew up in a traditional family …
Apr
27
I thought I’d spend the occasion to share some thoughts about authentic communication. Your authentic presence and communication is the greatest gift you can give to the world – we should therefore treat it that way, not wasting it on meaningless blabber. Each day the average person expresses several thousand words, unfortunately most of these …
Apr
26
When we are compeeting with someone, who is really defining what is good performance? Is it the winner or is it the looser? Defining good performance based on someone else robs us for our own potential, someone else becomes the arcitect. Therefore Instead of searcing for what is good, and allow ourselves to be defined …
Mar
13
I had a Skype call with two amazing guys from the Ars Amorata yesterday night. I shared with them some of the stuff I have been experiencing lately. About a week ago a friend of mine told me about his latest project called the Phobia Cure where he uses NLP to remove phobias and anxiety. …
Mar
12
Now this is an exciting module! This time i have gotten a hold of Mr. Multiorgasmic Man himself Dag Eian, and in this couchtalk we are discussing some very important element when it comes to becoming multiorgasmic man, and understanding sexuality. You will learn: – How an Orgasm really works – How to arouse a …
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